Chapter 3.22

I went for a checkup today because I've been spotting blood. Doctor told me I was too stressed and thus needed bed rest til I give birth. Me staying at home... whole day whole night? Doing nothing? I know on one side I could concentrate more time for Polly, but I just can't seem to get away with my plan of divorcing Robi.

"WHAT DIVORCE, ODETTA? You're carrying my baby, for pete's sake."

"Precisely. That's why. I don't want OUR baby to grow up to a father like you. It's a total shame."

"Whatever! But that's not gonna happen. I have NOTHING with Odelia, okay?"

"Nothing, huh? You think what? I'm blind? I saw a tester inside her room this morning. Obviously I didn't go in, but she carelessly left it at the door. She's pregnant TOO. Congratulations to you, afterall not having my baby call you dad, you will still have someone else to call you that."

"What?"

"Excuse me? What? Too happy?"

"Damn!"

Since then I've been omitting "daddy" word to teach Polly. Feel sorry for her that that word will never exist in her dictionary.

Chapter 3.21

Aunty Nad dragged me out for coffee to talk about her daughter. She apologized deeply about what's happened and how ashamed she's felt. After what so many things my mother has done for her and her family. Later on she told me something which is really really really heartbreaking.

"Od, I know this is going to be really heart breaking for you to know. But as a person, I feel that I need to be honest with you. There's no point keeping sinful things, especially from you. Someone whom I've watched since before birth. You know how your mother and I ..."

"Nadine... please..." I said, blocking her from dilly-dallying.

"I saw them rushing to the bedroom together. You know I've been having hard time walking these days and wasn't able to stop them. I yelled at her and she just slammed the door at me..."

And there goes my tear. We're still in love 2 months ago. We just found out I am pregnant thereafter.
I wish I could understand why.

Chapter 3.20

If I were a celebrity, the news would read: "ODETTA'S LOVELY HUBBY'S AFFAIR"

I went to confront him today, just because things are simply getting worse. The intimate chatting inside the room is getting more and more frequent. Polly has even started calling Odelia "mom"! Fish!

 

He's not feeling any sorry even for the least bit. He even turned around the situation, saying that I've not been channeling much of love to Polly these days, that what I've done is just going out meeting friends, and getting back really really late. For one, I've never gone out with any of my friends eversince I've fallen pregnant with this second one. It's work. Work work work, for this family to work out. Because I'm not an A-list scientist like what mother is. Yet I still have to feed those many people inside the house, like what my mother did.

True that Ocean's career is also picking up, but it's the nature of his job. He doesn't earn much, probably enough for him alone. Odelia? Forget about her. She just asked from her mom money to buy a pair of Manolo Sim-ahnik shoes. Gross.

So anyway.

I was fumed by his saying. I tried to explain everything but it's in futile. "But at least, Rob, you won't have to talk away with other woman. Woman in this house. Everybody knows. Even Polly does. I heard her calling her 'mom'".

He couldn't run away this time. "It's true that I've been rather close to Odelia, but that's simply because I don't have anyone else to talk to in this family. Aunty Nadine can be a pain in the arse sometimes because she talks too much. Ocean is always carried away in his own world."

"You can speak to me, can't you?"

"Okay, sorry..." and he walked out the house to join his friends drinking at the pub.

Ah, whatever.

Chapter 3.19

As suggested by the gynae, I need to take lotsa walk during this pregnancy as opposed to bed rest which is more commonly advised. This is due to the baby which is a little mispositioned inside.

An hour ago while I was sauntering around our house compound, I spotted Robi chatting to Odelia inside her room. Not rushing into any judgment, I watched them from the window. Are they planning a surprise for me? Can't be, because my birthday is still 4 months away. Are they planning a surprise for maybe Ocean or Aunty Nadine? They could've involved me too.

 

Should I confront Robi as this is pretty devastating. Or should I not, else i'll be seen as a major paranoid.

I don't love and adore Robi that much, but he's still my husband and I'm carrying his second baby for god's sake.

Chapter 3.18

Mother passed away last night. What's most depressing about this is we don't know what actually happened to her. She just left us :(

Everyone in the family, by this I mean Aunty Nadine & Ocean, are terribly hit by the bad news. Odelia, she didn't give a damn.

Aunty Nadine kept saying how she's appreciated my mother being her sister. The family financial inside the house is all single-handedly managed by mother. She's the one who also sent Ocean and Odelia to school because aunty Nadine doesn't have the passion to work. She falls sick very often too, that's why.

But yeah. My mother has also reached a ripe age. I've got nothing else but to give in. Have I told you that the doctor who handled my mother's case is actually.. urm.. John's father? That explains why he's here during the funeral this morning.

 

I asked him how he's been. He said he's been in a relationship with this girl whom he really really likes and also pursuing a career in the Culinary industry. I said that's good for him. He also asked about how I've been doing. I had to pretend that I am all proud and happy with Robi as my husband and Polly and the little seedling inside me. I told him we've been planning for the second one and happy that we finally had it. I wouldn't wanna look sad in front of him, because he probably wouldn't going to care, anyhow...

Chapter 3.17

I accompanied mother the whole night last night. This morning, I took the chance to visit the gynae here to confirm whether or not I'm pregnant again, because I've been feeling the same thing as how I felt when I first fell pregnant with Polly. After so many procedures done, the doctor assured me that I am pregnant again. Sighssss. Like 1 rascal inside the house is not enough yet for me. Moreover, I also don't know how Robi will react to it.

I told mom about it, hoping that she could get better after hearing the good news, but I was wrong. "You know you might hate me saying this but I really don't wish you to have another kid anymore, Odetta. I haven't seen the good side of Robi eversince he becomes a father. He works and almost never gets any promotion. He comes home late, and lately I've been seeing him fooling around a lot on the phone. Who's he talking to? Have you ever asked? I hope I can be better and get the chance to meet the second grandchild, though. Come here darling." And she gave me the warmest hug.

Geez, what's with libido and my life? Why do I always fall into such trap?

I dragged Robi and had a talk with him. I told him about everything, yet he's not that very excited too this time. :(

Chapter 3.16

Mother is being hospitalized now. She collapsed after tending to her garden this morning. Doctor said it could be meningitis inside her brain. We'll need another scan tomorrow to further clarify what's going wrong with her. The doctor blurted that this is a very unusual case as she hasn't been sick or anything for the past few weeks or even months. He also mentioned that this could be an acute kind of sickness and advised us to go for further check-up immediately.

'Though she hasn't been quite a good and loving mother to me, she's been my only family and most dearest person on earth. So I'm so in need of all the prayers to make sure that she's going to be fine.

I love you, mother.