Chapter 3.8

I took an MC today because my fever spiked up last night. Robi was really worried, but I guess he's just more worried about the little seed. He still hasn't found a job. Ridiculously he told me he would want to be househusband after our child is born. I tolf him off that's really really unacceptable. Mother won't like such decision. And if there's anything, it's me who should be a housewife.

Why is my life such an unfinished puzzle? I really envy the kind of life Grandma Marie and mother had.

Anyway, done talking about me. Ocean has started work today, as a Fans in the most well-known music industry here. Happy for him. As for Odelia, she flunked one of her subjects, so she's gonna retake it and will be finishing only next year. Poor thing, but who's to blame when she's really such a party nuts? Aunt Nadine doesn't seem to care much already on that kiddo.

Chapter 3.7

I had to lie to my mother about all the secret relationships between Robi and I. I told her that we love each other so much that we decided to get married as soon as possible.

"Don't tell me you're pregnant?", she suspected. "What? No! Of course no, mother!" I had to lie. Sighssss. Thank God that this little seed is only about 1 month old. Mother insisted to invite all the friends we know, all the family friends, etc, and that, includes John. But he decided not to come, he text me saying that he needs to run some errands for his sister. Well I am not sure how I should react, really. I've decided to trash him off from my memory, afterall.

After the "I Do" is exchanged, I quickly rushed back to bedroom and get some rest, leaving only mother to entertain all the guests. I've been too worn out... mentally and physically.

Chapter 3.6

This morning while having breakfast, Aunt Nadine snapped at me. "Why are you eating like a turtle? Quickly gobble up your food. You look sick, what's the matter with you? You've been sick lately." Geesh! Odelia too has been sticking her nose a lot into my life lately. "Ods, what happens? How are you and Robi? Are you guys together?"

It's really sickening. Really really sickening.

I went to the gynae today, and yes, I'm pregnant. I guess I had no time for drama but to call Robi and keep him informed of this. I was totally opened when I talked to him. "I know this must have been very hard for you. If your family ever finds about this you'll be the sole blame for all the problems and your divorce. But let me tell you, it's totally up to you, Rob... Regardless of what it is, I'm keeping this baby inside me."

Without saying anything, he quickly rushed to our home, and hugged me and said, "I'm proud to be the baby of our child. I love you, Odetta. Now, will you marry me?"

It's like the most unromantic proposal ever on Sims world, but who am I to say 'no'? This seems like the best choice for now.

For once, I feel that my world has truly fallen apart. I shall put John far from my list. I will have to forget my youth for awhile, and welcome my newly-wedded husband into my life, whom I'm not sure of if I can love.

Chapter 3.5

I'm feeling terrible. I just woke up from a terrible nightmare. I was holding Robi and I's baby in my hand, and at the same time I saw John bringing a flower to my place about to tell me that he would like to get back to me. It's horribleeeee. I'm very fearful and stressed up right now. I'm afraid of falling pregnant, and I still hope for John to come back to me. I called Robi 5 minutes earlier, but he didn't pick up.

I guess the first thing I'm gonna do tomorrow is to confirm if I really am... preggers. I really really really hope I won't be, though honestly we did it at the worst time ever. It all started when I went over to his place. His wife and daughter (er.... yes. I left out this important part in the very beginning) were away to visit his in-laws. It started from a glass of wine he poured for me. As always, I was very depressed when I sought him, and he's always been there. He told me to talk about it over wine. So we did. One glass after another, it led to a kiss. He told me he loved me but I can't remember what I replied to him. Then we just cuddled and started to make out on the sofa. One thing led to another and there we had it. He said he hadn't felt that good for such a long time, I told him, me too. And all the warm caresses from him felt nothing like John's. Nevertheless, I guess I've been yearning for all those touches for such a long time that I did agree to my action to let him do it to me.

Come to think of it, I don't really love him. In fact, I don't at all. For one, he has a family of his own, and secondly, I still cling a hope on John.

But...

Chapter 3.4

My mother confronted me today.

"Odetta what do you think you're doing? Haven't I told you to stop seeing Robi?"
"Mother, he's just a friend. What's wrong with having a friend who happens to work as a maid for part-time? That's how you and dad met and you did great both as a parent and couple."
"That is the thing! I don't want the history to repeat. You won't know how hard it is to face the society who keeps prejudging you. I've gone through it and it's pretty depressing."
"Mom, but Robi is just a friend..."
"You really won't know how things will go, O. He phoned me earlier, a courtesy call I should say, asking me if it's okay he dates my daughter."
"Wh... what?"
"Yes, he has developed a feeling for you. I can't tell him no, can I? Because I don't wanna condemn your relationship, if turns out there'll be one in the future."
"Did you say yes then?"
"I didn't. I didn't say anything."
"So?"
"You really got to think about it, O. It's a future we're talking about."
"Mother, I love him too."
"But I thought you're not over John, are you?"

.  .  .

Robi and I did 'it' last night. Gosh I'm scared. And I'm saying thing that I don't think I mean to say at all... Gosh...

What do I do?

Chapter 3.3

My hardwork eventually attracted the eyes of my supervisor. She took me to meet the CEO of the hospital to confirm me as a permanent staff. I brought home this news to my mother in order to cheer her up a little bit, but that seemed to be no avail. I understand what it must have been like for her, having to lose the one and only you've loved truly in your life.



The same applies for me and John. I don't know which one is worse, because John is still alive here in this world, only that she's with another girl. Often when I went to the bistro where we first dated, I could still feel how warm his hands when touched mine. I still remember the chocolate lave cake that he fed me, which melted all the way down to my throat. I couldn't have felt any more in love than that.








Not having any sibling of my age, I tend to confide more in my newly found friend, Robi, who came and part-timed as a maid at our place some time ago. He's few years older than I am, and perhaps that's why I feel that I can share more things with him. My mother always restrained me from talking to him, she said she wouldn't want the history to repeat by itself and soon becomes a culture of this legacy; dating a maid, that is.

But so much so, I never think it's that bad to talk and befriend a maid. A maid is also a profession, what sets it so different from a Medical intern? Or any other job in this world, really? Nonetheless I don't want to argue about that with her. I secretly communicate with Robi. In the weekend when I feel vexed I will give him a call and we can just go swim together, if not go fish together. He has a secret obsession about the water, I wish I know why because he doesn't swim. He can't swim. LOL.

Anyway, yeah. I'm still all bitter about John. A lot of times I still wish he could call me on my phone.

Chapter 3.2

My father, Mason Chopin has left us forever this morning. He chose to leave the hospital and get home in order to rest peacefully. Prior to his departure, we all surrounded him, having our hands in hands singing joyful songs while saying prayers, just to let him know that he can leave peacefully.

In my eyes, he has been a great father. Partly because I'm the only child in the family. He was never quite the kind of father who spoiled me like nobody's business. He taught me how to become a person who carries substance. Though he has a background of only being a service man, he truly carried a certain dignity with himself that everyone looks up to. He can always get along well with everyone he meets.

Your presence will be truly missed, father. And I love you is what I meant to say to you all these years.

I have two grievances this week. I'm still crying over John, and I can't help it. When I'm struck by all the memories, I will drink a lot at the minibar. Before work, after work, before going to sleep, etc. Memory of 5 years, how is that ever easy to get out from this mind?